Mindfulness seminar

Humans have a lot of trouble with what they call (in a fit of imprecision) mindfulness. By this, they mean that they can't stop worrying about what might happen or brooding on things that have happened instead of simply looking out of their cave and seeing the tasty flutterings go by.

Their brooding and their worrying (not to mention all the fluttering things they miss) make them very unhappy. They then fight against their unhappiness by all sorts of lesser and greater ineffectuals. For instance, they talk or eat or collect.

What they should do is to try to be more like us lower animals. When the sun is warm on our backs, we stretch out in it and never worry about filing our taxes. When we smell rodent, we hunt. When our arses itch, we lick them.

Since the publishing business is not making me any money, I have decided to run high-priced seminars in mindfulness, taught by myself and other experts. Such as Gooney, who, it is rumoured, has no sort of mind at all.

G says: "watch and learn, folks"