Myself and other Great Artists

My devotion to the arts is well known to my near neighbours, but in this I am not alone. Many feles domestici are great makers and appreciators of all variety of Kunstwerke -- to be found in gardens, under bushes, in boots, and squelching under your toes as you head downstairs to make your dawn cup of coffee. Our creations are to be seen, smelt, heard, savoured. Open your ears and hear our derisive silence or howls: it's all music.

Even technology serves our art. Mr Lee and his Catcam have inspired a new school of the feline photographic arts, combining an appreciation of the outdoors and the underbellies of still-warm vehicles. He and his disciples capture the elusive experiences of grass-stalking, leaf-brushing, glowering, snuffling, drinking from stagnant pools, staring at cows in the distance. If you don't believe me, have a look. A retrospective is eagerly anticipated.

Mr Lee and the Means to his Art

Qui nunc it per iter tenebricosum

The indifferent clouds scud across the sky, a breezy day in this normally stagnant city. Why the exhilaration, tasty sparrows? You may exult as the gusts buffet you upwards. But wait wait. Halibut has been climbing and clings to a swaying branch. My jaws are quivering, little sparrows. And so is the branch: so hurry up, idiot passeres, and fly into my mouth.

Travels of the Goon

In a bag.

Under the steps. In a book case. In the towel cupboard. Under the sink. In the dryer, if he might. If miniaturization were possible, between the CDs or along the top of a row of novels. Under a bush. Under a chair draped with clothing, standing in for a bush. Beneath the duvet (don't jump on it). Maybe the oven is possible? The fridge an even more dangerous possibility. Inside the big bag of cat litter. Inside the small plastic basket which has the harness, jingle jingle. Into the treehouse yes! Over the gate. Through the hedge. Into Pat's garden and under her deck. A skunk lives there sometimes.

Halibut's School of Prey Play and Execution

Hmm. I don't know if G is going to develop his new career. On the one hand, he's been looking conspicuous in the vicinity of small dark spaces. On the other hand, I caught him taking effete delight in a little supper of seethed chicken hearts and avocado yesterday evening. (At least he did not descend further into PASTA, which is a human invention of loathsome farinaceousness, resembling cross-sections of intestinal worms.)

Don't turn on the shredder, Gooney.

I have been thinking of sending some small fluttery thing into shock so I can give G some practice. I know, you are thinking: "What's got into Halibut? Why is he turning all warm and benevolent?" Or, "Do you think you are G's mother?"

Well, G's mother (Angel Eyes Xotic Lilac Liberty if you can believe it) evidently did not do her job. Too busy trying to remember her name to feed the little runt, let alone teach him to slay. I don't like to see talent wasted. Even the miscroscopic talents of the Goon.

Gooney gets back his cohones

Well done, my boy! Now on to rats.

Guest Post, by Me Bhiksu: We are hanging in there, waiting for Halibut's Annual Solstice Dinner and Talent Show

When Halibut is blacker than usual, he crawls into the back of his cold cave and doesn't come out for weeks.

He has been there for a while now. My brother and I think a warm spot beside a pig is best.

We know a pig who is very friendly on a dark day. He has the right colour and smell.

Anyone who needs cheering up should meet one soon.

Yours truly Bhiksu

An extra hour to prowl

The great millstone of the year grinds round, and we once again enter the dark days when the sparrows witter on their leafless twigs. It's much easier to find them that way. That may be why, when everyone else is sinking into the gloom, I feel more tail-lashingly frisky, more glowing-coal alert, hungrier than ever for furred and feathered victims.

I am looking out of my den now at a sky of pale blue, glaring and tinged with a grimy horizon. Daylight  will soon become dusk and the hour to hunt. I will exhale a hiss of relief.